Apologies in advance for another dull post about my varying spinal health. But, I figure friends, family and some people in my various online communites are interested in contextual stuff like this, so here we go. Hit up some other bookmark now if you’re bored 
Since my epiphany 6 weeks ago I’ve been on what I realise is going to be a long road to recovery, and generally each week I’ve been improving, barring the odd minor blip. That was, until the middle of last week when I seemed to go backward a couple of steps, ending up with pain and stiffness in the middle back area which I associate with my most recent problem (as compared to the lower lumbar pain associated with my lingering problem from about 4 years ago). This has persisted all week – better some days, worse others – meaning that I’m having to be extra careful. I’m not sure exactly what triggered the relapse – it might be that Rock Band 2 came out and I did 2 hours of solid drumming one evening, it might have been the time we spent playing Left 4 Dead, it might have been that I’ve been playing my new guitar with a strap (extra weight on the shoulders), it might have been that I took a particularly brisk walk last Tuesday as I was in a rush to get back to work (and at that point my back was feeling great) – or something else.
What is frustrating is that the risk of relapse seems connected to almost anything I do. I sometimes feel trapped – that I can’t work as much as I want, can’t do many things I enjoy, can’t be too active, can’t be too inactive – it’s like I have to be afraid of doing anything because of the risk of setting it off again (except that of course doing nothing also makes it worse). Yesterday this really started to depress me a bit, and I’m generally a pretty hard guy to depress, being as defiantly optimistic as I usually am. I got over it, partly because of my wife, partly because we had a social evening last night which cheered me up, and partly because my ever-reliable sense of logic eventually kicked in and pointed out in no uncertain terms that feeling sorry for myself wasn’t going to help, and I was just wasting time.
So, I’m opting for a more scientific approach. I’m starting to keep a weekly record of how well my back is feeling, and noting down relevant events, and how much work/gaming/exercise I get during each week to try to correlate what’s helping, and what’s making it worse. I went back over my diary & blog to add a bit of history (higher numbers are better):
Obviously too much hunching at the desk was bad, as probably were long-haul flights. The games are mostly on there for interest – with the exception of heavy drumming on Rock Band 2 I don’t think any of them put any particular strain on my back, although Left 4 Dead is at the desk so I should keep that fairly light. Trips to the physio/osteo clearly help short-term but the only real way to conquer this long-term is to keep learning how to rehabilitate myself, and quick-fixes aren’t the way.
The positive note to take from this is that despite the last week, I’m still on an overall up since mid-October. As my wife keeps telling me, I need to resign myself to the fact that this is probably going to take a very long time to put right properly. Frustrating when you have a head full of projects (Ogre & otherwise) wanting to see the light of day, and when you just want to lead a ‘normal’ life without being in pain, or feeling afraid of what you can and can’t do. But, as ever there are plenty of people far worse off than I am in the world, and I have the benefit of a very understanding wife and a flexible working environment (I don’t get sick pay, but I can at least take breaks when I want and set my own workload), so I should stop wingeing and get on with it. I’m going to choose to be grateful that my red line is averaging an upward trend, and work on trying to keep it on that course as best I can.
December 2nd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I’m sorry to hear that your back has been getting you down. I can wholly sympathise with the trepidation to do anything. I know that following my gall bladder attacks, high blood pressure and other health issues from earlier this year that I was in a very similar boat. I know that at times it can feel like it worthless doing just about anything, but I’m glad that you seem to have gotten yourself out of that rut and are looking at the positives. Glad to see that roleplaying helped a little
You know if you ever get down about things again and want to get together for a chat or a game, you can get in touch.
BTW maybe you should let Marie have the occasional turn on the drums in Rock Band 2, that might help
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
“BTW maybe you should let Marie have the occasional turn on the drums in Rock Band 2, that might help”
*hugs drums*
Mine!
Marie doesn’t actually like to play drums that much, wheras I love it, so we tend to just fall into that mode. Especially as we can both play Hard/Expert that way.
But yeah, I’m going to have to space out my drum playing a bit more instead of going a bit mad with the hundred odd new tracks we have to play :/
December 4th, 2008 at 12:51 am
I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such trouble. Each time I read your blog and see the issues you’re having, it makes me think how thankful I am that I don’t have any medical problems.
It’s a cruel fate that someone with your skill would have a condition that prevents them sitting at the computer. Perhaps, like Stephen Hawking, you could design your own setup specifically for your needs. And maybe a split keyboard like this would help with the strain of typing http://www.kinesis-ergo.com/images/freestyle-vip_648×339.jpg
December 4th, 2008 at 5:53 am
Great idea with the record keeping! Also, I am glad to see that the graph is climbing after the trip to Sweden!
December 4th, 2008 at 8:01 am
You very much need to know what exactly you should not do to keep back pain at bay and improve condition of your back. Record keeping is definetly going to help.
But avoidance will help a lot, as the less you get in back pian, lesser the damage, greater the recovery and more strngth to back. To try a simple ananlogy one needs to remain away from illness to get cured sooner and better, otherwise he keeps getting in the vicious circle.
It is just the way of human body.
It is quite natural to do less work whli you are not in so good health. But anyway there will never be no work done if health is not good. And less work is certainly better then no work.
It is so cheerful to see you being cheerful and hopeful at this time. I will suggest to continue rehabilitation as it certainly is going to take atleast long time. And there are festivals coming to celebrate also.
As for me I have decided to go to Village for one week, so that my mind will be away from loads of worries, for atleast one week. And I may also get to imagine some fantsy story scenes there. Ahhh the charmes of countryside.
December 4th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Thanks, I appreciate the support guys.
Good news is that things have been improving a lot in the last few days, so I’m back up to a 7 again. Let’s see if it lasts until Monday (my weekly sample time)!
December 4th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Im sorry mate, I know you are going to absolutely hate me for saying this, but you are in denial and you need to be told: if you ever want to have a normal back again, put down those drum sticks and pick up that microphone.
P.S. Left4Dead is absolutely superb!!!
December 8th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
[...] far, I feel quite a bit better. I’d dipped last week, which I now believe was mostly down to some over-enthusiastic drumming, but I’ve done some [...]