I was already starting to get a little tired of having vanity products targetted at me all the time when I watched TV – seems you just can’t sit down and watch a little bit of sci-fi shlock without having to endure male sports stars and B-list celebrities gurning at you from the screen while they either whisk a razor across their chin at frightening speed, or smear some overpriced goop into their chiseled mugs. I thought I’d reached the pinnacle when the ads tried to convince me that I couldn’t possibly be ready for a life in the morning unless I followed their ‘essential’ 3-step programme of ‘prepare, shave and moisturise’, when in practice I’ve survived happily for ages without doing any one of these 3 things. And I find it hard to contain a belly laugh when they try to combine the use of these products with machismo, such as interspersing some guy doing a frankly impractical level of preening with voice-overs explaining that it’s because he had a “lad’s night out”, and getting a “fit bird” (since we’re being all gruff and manly here) to walk around in a towel in the background. All it needed to complete it was a bit of chest-bumping, talking about sports and a flashing red arrow saying “Not Gay”. 
But no, it get’s worse. Now, not only are the grooming companies aggressively targetting men with their generally useless products, but now they’re targetting a specific subset of men – gamers. Yes, there’s now another variant of that ridiculous Gillette brand family called “Fusion Gamer“, the existence of which I was alerted to via Penny Arcade but thought it was a joke, an extrapolation. But no, it really exists.
I’m not really sure where they’re going with this. At the risk of stereotyping here, I have to ask whether, as a rule, most male gamers care a huge amount about personal grooming; speaking as one myself, whilst I’m aware of the need for general tidiness (depending on context), I generally seek out the path of least resistance over any kind of structured vanity programme any day of the week. This is one of the advantages of beards of course – as well as giving you something to tug on when you’re thinking, they turn a daily shaving routine into a much more relaxed, convenient affair. 
Maybe it’s just that I missed out on the whole Metrosexual trend. Maybe I just have barely repressed hobo tendencies, or I’m just incredibly lazy, but these ads make me laugh, not want to buy anything. I guess someone must be watching them and thinking ‘mmm, yeah I really should moisturise more’. But, I do not for one second understand these people.
March 3rd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I’m certainly not ready for a life in the morning without a three step grooming programme.
I’m not actually ready for mornings at all, no matter how many steps of grooming I do or don’t do, until around noon.
March 4th, 2009 at 1:12 am
Ah, maybe we’re kindred spirits on the grooming thing. I too wear a beard in part because of the convenience.
But I’ve taken it a little further. Too avoid trips to the barber, etc., I’ve taken to simply shaving my head and beard with a barber’s electric razor at home.
I just give myself the sheep treatment now and then. But then again I work from home and my clients are usually non-local so it may not be an option for everyone.
If it were completely up to me I wouldn’t cut my beard or hair at all. Sure I’d look homeless but I’d be happier man. Unfortunately my wife just barely accepts my current grooming schedule so it’s not an option.
March 7th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
My argument for my grooming “regimen” is that, if I don’t shave the beard to a “respectable” level, I inevitably will end up going on less dates, and also the quality of those dates will be lower.
Perhaps its a generational thing (being a young’un), and you (both steve and john) have had a lifetime with with to spend with your respective partners, I’ve not had the luxury.
I’m nervous as it is when I’m going on a date, and the half hour I spend before the event making preening myself gives me that boost of confidence that says “you look marginally better than 20 minutes ago. Go you!”
In an ideal world, looks would rarely come into something like a date, but the reality is, without a certain something to catch a girls attention, you can’t get anywhere.
March 7th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
@Dave: amen to that
@johnhp: I look daft with short hair (I think it’s to do with my angular, low-poly head) and seem to have a syndrome which involves hair growing far too fast – maybe that’s why I’m going white so quickly? – so settle for the ‘fashionably unkempt’ look.
@John: yeah, those of us already in wedlock have a much easier time of it
March 8th, 2009 at 2:51 am
“you (both steve and john) have had a lifetime with with to spend with your respective partners, I’ve not had the luxur”
Easy there, I just turned 27.
Now get off my lawn!
March 13th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Grooming? Shaving?
What is that? Occasionally I give myself a bit of a trim, but I find it easier to shampoo my entire head and face than it its to muck about with some fiddly overpriced contraption that will make me look more acceptable by giving me a nasty rash on the neck region.
Also I am somewhat convinced that if i shave/cut my hair my daughter will not recognise me, so I use this as a justifiable excuse on other people. Besides, being in it, I am hired for what is in my skull, not what adorns it