There’s one problem with having a relatively public presence online, even in such a niche that I’m in, and that’s how to deal with unsolicited friend requests. I’m a happy user of LinkedIn, I have a Gamertag you can see on the right hand side there, and I’m also a reluctant and infrequent member of Facebook. As well as letting people who know me connect, it also means that on some occasions, I get friend / contact requests on these systems from people I’ve never heard of before. In the case of a Gamertag in particular, I’ll sit there trying to figure out whether I know the person or not, then agonise about whether I should just reject it (causing potential offense), initiate a ‘Who the hell are you’ discussion which might end up that way anyway, or worse open a dialog with someone I wish I hadn’t, or just accept on systems I don’t care so much about because it’s less hassle. I’ve gravitated towards ‘reject’ as a default response now.
Here’s a tip: if you want to connect with me or anyone else on an online system, at the very least email me to introduce yourself first, or include in your friend request why we might know each other already, or have something in common. I’m fully aware that I ‘know’ far more people than I realise half the time, since I talk to people every day in forums etc via the obscurity of nicks. And if we haven’t spoken before, that might be ok too; I like ‘meeting’ new people, but you really have to talk to me first.
Just firing a friend request at me with no introduction is akin to throwing your business cards at random strangers in the street; it’s just not polite. Going through introductions might seem old fashioned in today’s fast-moving world, but it really does break the ice and makes the difference between a genuine friend request and a ‘stalking request’. 
September 21st, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Stalking? he he.
But I do agree these friend requests thrown in add me too frenzy are just hollow and void. whereas real good friendship is juicy even if it remains online only.
September 21st, 2009 at 10:08 pm
I don’t have such an online presence as you, but being in grad school and involved in a few other things I get a fair amount of the same type of requests on facebook and linkedin. I usually don’t add people I don’t know and on LinkedIn, I only add people that I have or had some work relationship with. I don’t get worried about not friending someone.
September 22nd, 2009 at 4:00 pm
I agree completely. I seldom do friend requests to people that I’ve met online, unless I’ve had actual discussions with them.
I’m a member of a very strong Linux User Group that I’ve got actual friends with. Unfortunately all their friends (being members of the group) know me by sight, and assume that I must know them too, (and their facebook of course doesn’t have their picture on it). It’s rather embarrassing to reject people that believe you know them.
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:07 pm
hehe.