Return of the 80's action film trailer

· by Steve · Read in about 3 min · (458 Words)

Anyone seen the Lost Planet short trailer they’re showing on TV? Here’s the online version if not.

Come on. I mean, come on. Now, I’m sure it’s great if you’re one of those people who smokes 50 a day and needs to make money doing voice overs in between cheap slasher films, but to start a AAA game trailer off this way demonstrates an almost fatal concentration of cheese. But that’s only the start.

Enter stage right the over-used rapid MTV cuts of random prerendered violence. Ok, I guess we kind of expected those. But, then intersperse it with ‘dramatic’ whizzing captions which try oh so hard to impart their deep wisdom upon the viewer. In small chunks just in case you can’t keep up, of course, which anyone taking this ad seriously probably would have trouble with.

Then, the climax endzone move. First introduce a ‘clever’ theme-based caption - wait for it - ‘BLOOD ….. RUNS …… COLD’ (pauses again there to give you a little breather in between, you know, just in case you’d be overwhelmed by the sheer brilliance of it should it be revealed all in one go), then add a little glimse of a major creature/boss/baddie and fade out on explosion. Classic. Your primary cultural reference point is The A-Team, and you’re proud of it. High-fives all round.

Finally, get the 50-a-day guy to read the name of the game/film as it fades on to the screen. You’ve already made the viewer read at least 25 words already without any help, so they must be exhausted. The only way it could perhaps be improved is if there was one of those little bouncing sing-along balls over the top of the writing to help the viewer say the name with you.

Dear me, I thought this kind of thing had gone the way of the dinosaur already, but nope, they’re still churning it out. It may be a great game, but the guys who came up with the ad have clearly watched one too many early Swarzeneggar movies, and had all vestiges of imagination surgically removed. Perhaps they should have studied what was done with the Gears of War ad, which was much more stylish than this tosh. These are games about shooting stuff - you can bring that to the attention of the viewer elegantly, with a little bit of artistic direction, or you can come up with something so ham-fisted that it’s equivalent to shaking the game box in front of their faces making fake explosion noises with your cheeks. If you can’t do better than this, go do the trailer for Saw 4 next time. Maybe I’m overreacting but I find this kind of lazy ad deeply insulting to my intelligence.